Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
