And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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