to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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