so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize