Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
