i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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