at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
