before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
