Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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