This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
