How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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