Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
