nut hugger
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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