If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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