I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
