Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
