I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
