kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
