I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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