There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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