But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
