____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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