Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
