my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
