The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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