My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
