i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
