You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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