His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize