just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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