brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
