I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
