P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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