what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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