so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently you make a good broom.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
