Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
