i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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