i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
