Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
