you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
