So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize