you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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