Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
