If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize