During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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