Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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