i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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