he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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