so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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