I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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