And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
