put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my liver is dry heaving
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
