When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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