I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
