problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
