I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
