after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize