he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize