last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
