just tell him i said nine months
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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