She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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