genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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