I don't think brook has ever known best
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
